


be my muse.

by avantaes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Canon Compliant, Declarations Of Love, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Getting to Know Each Other, High School, I tried my best, Idiots in Love, Introspection, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, a little bit of angst maybe idk if u can consider it angst, i swear i tried, idk wtf am i actually doing ok?, im a simp for osasuna, little bit of arts music and lits here and there, some attempted humour here and there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24824260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avantaes/pseuds/avantaes
Summary: “I want to know ya better. I want to understand what is that look ye’r always giving me.”A one-shot of Miya Osamu being whipped for Suna Rintarou.
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 87





	be my muse.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! so, first and foremost, this is the first time i'm publishing a one shot on a public reading and creation platform after 4-5 years. this is my first haikyuu one shot as well as my first written piece that is up for public viewing after months of not writing. there might be some typographical errors here and there so please kindly point them out to me. pls tell me as well if the story's pacing was a bit too fast bc like what i've said, this is my first piece in a while. i accept constructive criticism as a way to improve myself as a writer.
> 
> special thanks to mengu who i've always pestered to re-read this draft over and over again. 
> 
> this work is dedicated to 'tarou:  
> sorry for the wait, 'tarou. it's finally up. i hope you'd like it.

> _Tell me more about your heart._

– Yorushika (ヨルシカ) “Ghost in a Flower”

* * *

The sun has risen again on the Eastern side of Hyogo-ken.

The crisp, vivid, orange morning rays of sunshine make its way inside the four corners of Osamu’s bedroom, waking him up with a beam that stings his eyes. It signals the morning birds outside to spread their wings and soar high as they can while singing their ever-familiar dawn chorus. It is Saturday, so workers and students are probably not frantically running inside their respective houses by now with a bag strap placed over their shoulders, impatiently waiting for breakfast because it is a weekend. Osamu, however, needs to attend a meet-up and he absolutely needs to be there, partly because he is the one who initiated it in the first place.

Osamu peeps down to see Atsumu who’s sleeping in the lower bunk of the bunk bed that they share, then carefully and quietly lowers himself down to prepare himself for the day. Last night, Osamu went home late due to the cleaning duty that was assigned to him by Kita Shinsuke. Though Osamu can be as bold as his brother Atsumu, he is smart and careful enough to not get on Kita’s bad side because everyone in Inarizaki Volleyball Club are aware of how scary the man can be when he is furious. The thought of it alone is enough to make everyone in the club shiver with fear. When he arrived at home, he was surprised to see Atsumu passed out on the lower bunk bed, which happens to be Osamu’s bed. “Hey, get yer ass of my bed.” said Osamu as he attempted to wake his brother up. The latter, however, won’t budge no matter how hard Osamu tried to. Too tired to drag his brother after cleaning the gym, he lets out an exasperated sigh as surrendered and decided to sleep on his brother’s bed instead.

He checks up on Atsumu one last time before proceeding downstairs to put on his shoes and bid his mother. The last thing Osamu needs is Atsumu waking up to find out he’s going out somewhere and he absolutely cannot afford to let his brother ruin this day for him.

Because today, he is attending a secret rendezvous at an old used music room in the west wing of Inarizaki High Main Building at 7:00 a.m. Also, Miya Osamu will find out today whether his impulsive decision of asking Suna Rintarou out on a secret rendezvous at 7:00 a.m. is a smart choice in terms of getting himself back on his tracks.

* * *

Contrary to the popular belief of the Miya twins harboring no other interest aside from their love for volleyball, Osamu harbored a secret admiration and interest towards Arts and Literature. True enough, the twins have been known almost throughout their entire life as pranksters and good-for-nothing-except-for-volleyball idiots who’s apparently very persistent and stubborn, enough to drive the people around them, such as Kita Shinsuke and Ojiro Aran, insane. However, there’s a fine line that somehow differentiates Osamu from his twin, Atsumu—and that is Osamu’s said secret admiration and interest, as well as his consideration for other people that weighs more than the consideration Atsumu has for other people.

Because of the said admiration and interest towards Arts and Literature, Osamu developed a weird habit of studying people and their personality like they’re the back of his hands. He was never the type of person who’s artistic nor good with words, so he always finds people who are good at it to be amazing. Sometimes, he made various attempts on writing a story or a poem and drawing by observing the people around him.

He’d fixate his strong gaze full of pure curiosity on their features, carefully analyzing how one can be given a pair of sharp foxy eyes. A pair of hands that does not differs much from the size of his own, wondering if it would slot perfectly into his’. A weird but cool, fast, and strong reflexes and flexibility that allows one to perfectly avoid the blockers on the other side of the net and spike the ball down on their court. Brown locks, styled in an odd but cute manner, that seems so soft he can’t help himself but to have the weird desire to touch it and see how it would feel against his calloused hands.

Osamu would get himself a random piece of paper he can find within his reach, steal Atsumu’s pencil, and roughly sketch an outline of the features he deemed as beautiful and interesting. Sometimes, during the times where he’d get sidetracked by his linear of thoughts that consists of nothing but food, he’d draw rough sketches of the dishes he has in mind as a reminder for him to try cooking it once he arrives at home. But most often that not, the rough sketches he made seems to be made befitting only for a single person—Suna Rintarou.

Osamu cannot remember when was the first time he finds Rintarou attractive. But he can clearly remember what the scenario looked and felt like.

He remembered how the summer sky that day enveloped the town in its beautiful red and tangerine hues while the summer wind blew a gust of an oddly cold breeze. Perhaps that was to signal the people outside that nightfall is slowly seeping into the vast sky that will soon change the once beautiful red and tangerine hues with alluring midnight blue and violet tones.

He remembered how Rintarou stood under the tree that’s not too far from the volleyball gym with his eyes closed and his hands hidden inside his varsity jacket pockets as he waited for Osamu so they can go home together. The cold wind brought an Amaryllis flower out of nowhere albeit the midsummer season. Rintarou’s eyes fluttered open as the said flower softly landed on his right shoulder. He picked it up with his right hand and observed its lovely carmine shade of red that’s similarly close to the color of their varsity jacket.

Osamu slowly walked towards Rintarou with his gaze still fixated on the said boy. Rintarou shifted his gaze from the flower to Osamu whom he noticed walking towards him from his peripheral vision.

“Took you so long.” Rintarou said with a gaze that made Osamu’s breath stopped for a few seconds.

“Yet ya still stayed and waited. Nothin’ new, yeah?”

Rintarou chuckled at Osamu’s reply. They are so used to bickering at one another, throwing insults they both don’t mean, and the latter’s remarks never failed to amuse the former. He played around with the flower, twirling its stem in between his hand, before gently tucking it behind his left ear. “What are you doing?” Osamu asked. Rintarou simply glanced at him before closing his eyes to feel the cold breeze of caressed his face. “Trying to look prettier than you.” He replied after a while with a subtle smile that does not goes unnoticed by Osamu.

Osamu’s chest tightened at the sight of Rintarou smiling and enjoying the soft and cold caress of the wind that afternoon. He has already acknowledged from the very first time he met Rintarou that he has blessed with a pretty face that could rival both his and girls’ faces. Never did the thought crossed his mind that Rintarou can get even prettier than he already is.

They were both just first years at that time who were completely new to the volleyball club, yet they are already comfortable enough with each other to go home together every single day, even during the days where there’s no volleyball practice at all. True enough, there are still some things Osamu does not know about Rintarou and he’s never the type to push a person to tell, especially if it would make the other person uncomfortable—the very reason he is called the better Miya.

That day—that afternoon—he felt a feeling he couldn’t explain very well. One thing he was sure of that day is; he wanted to know Suna Rintarou better.

Osamu though, just like his brother, isn’t the smartest person in the class even though his grades are better than Atsumu’s. Albeit the existence of romantic feelings being common among teenagers such as Osamu, he finds the said feeling to be quite foreign to him, hence why he does not realize that he actually likes Rintarou not until their second year of high school.

When the said realization has finally sunk into him, Osamu became quite lost on how he should act around Rintarou, especially now that he’s aware that any close contact with Rintarou can flush his cheeks red which will ultimately give away the fact that he likes the said boy. Osamu, more than anything, is afraid of Rintaro finding out about it because it’ll ultimately ruin the connection and friendship which they both treasures. It has affected his concentration quite badly that he had to be benched during an outside school competition once.

Rintarou approached him during their time-out with a very worried look plastered on his face. “Are you okay?” he asked as he took a sit beside Osamu and hands him his bottle of water. “You look like a drenched fox.” Osamu ignored his insult, simply accepting the bottle of water he offered and quietly drank it before giving the boy a response. “Yeah,” Osamu lied, trying his very best to make his expression as blank as it normally is to make it seem that he’s really okay, totally not bothered by the fact that Rintarou’s free hand is just 5 cm away from his—that with one wrong move, his free hand can rest on top of Rintarou’s hand. The existence of that thought alone caused Osamu’s cheeks to burn and he found himself flustered—not knowing as to how he should explain everything to Rintarou. “I guess I’m having a fever. Been eating too much ice pops at night, I guess.”

Rintarou kept quiet and simply stared at him. Though he wanted to look away—afraid that his eyes would give away his feelings—he stared back at Rintarou, his gaze holding the same intensity as Rintarou. However, Osamu should’ve known better—Rintarou is not a fool to buy his excuse. He can strongly feel how Rintarou is searching for something within Osamu’s eyes.

The whistle of the referee at the court brought them back to reality, cutting their moment short. “I’ll check up on you again later.” Rintarou told him as he’s the first one to look away and slowly walked back to the court. But then he stopped midway and turned around to look at Osamu. “We’ll win. Sit back and watch us, you lazy rat.” He gave Osamu a brief smile turning around once again to proceed to the court. It took everything in Osamu to look like as if he’s unaffected by everything Rintarou do—be it towards him or not.

“ _Crap. This is bad. This is getting out of hand_.” Osamu thought to himself.

Seeing as to how everything has badly affected his performance with volleyball, he realized that he needs to either tell Rintarou about it, accepts being rejected by the said boy, and potentially ruining their friendship or suppress it ‘till it becomes non-existent—his feelings for Rintarou—to at the very least, save whatever he can save from their friendship.

Osamu—torn in between choosing his own heart or Rintarou’s—decided to pick the latter choice. Though the feelings he carried for Rintarou has started brimming over its cup, Osamu cannot afford to ruin whatever they have just because he started seeing the boy in a different light.

He cannot afford to lose Rintarou when there is still a lot that he wants to know about the said boy.

* * *

Osamu scratches his head as he tries to rethink his decision repeatedly while chewing the onigiri he brought along with him. He considers the option of going back home a couple of times—to instead take some rest for the upcoming Spring Inter High Tournament; especially since Inter High is just 2 weeks away. However, he wishes to see through the end and confirms that he can suppress his feelings for Rintarou. To prove this to be true, he asked Rintarou two days ago to accompany him at school on Saturday, in which he uses the excuse of them having an assignment on their Arts and Literature subject to ask him out. He’d try to see it as a casual hangout and make himself used to Rintarou. Like an exposure therapy, he’s secretly hoping that the more he is exposed to Rintarou outside of school hours, the more that he can handle his suppression of feelings for the mentioned boy.

Osamu buys a bag chuupets along the way because he wants to make it up to Rintarou for dragging him due to his selfishness. He feels his phone vibrating, so he proceeds to check his notifs. His heart skips a beat when he reads that it’s a text message from Rintarou.

**Suna Rintarou** :

“I can’t believe I arrived earlier than the one who has asked me out.”

 **Miya Osamu** :

“At least ya don’t have to struggle with an annoying brother who’d tug along with ya even though ya really don’t want him to be there.”

 **Suna Rintarou** :

“Haha, you’re not wrong though.”

“Hurry up. I’ve already opened the room and I’m waiting for you inside.”

Osamu fasten up his pace. He checks the wristwatch on his left hand and sees that he still has more than 20 minutes before 7:00. He wonders what has gone through Rintarou’s head for him to force himself to come to their meet up place earlier than they’ve agreed on.

Rintarou’s mind has always intrigue him in many ways. He sees his mind like a piece of literature or music that can be interpreted in so many different ways. Like how Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18 has different analysis on whether it was an Eros or Agape type of love. Or like how Debussy’s Clair De Lune can be interpreted as both romantic and painful classical music. His mind has always been a cavern full of secrets in which he wishes to dive himself into. He imagines the possibility of him meeting the latter tad bit earlier—had he only been aware of his existence a little bit longer—he would probably have more chances in getting to know Rintarou better.

True enough, in comparison to last year, he knows Rintarou better now—only on a surface level, that is. Osamu wants to understand why does Rintarou’s eyes glint with ecstasy whenever he hears classical music being played the music store that they often passed by on their walk back home. He wants to understand why does Rintarou often speaks in question as if he’s so used to being cut off. He wants to understand why does Rintarou looks away for a moment whenever he calls him “ ‘Tarou.”

He wants Rintarou to be his muse and tell him more about his heart.

Osamu’s trail of thoughts is cut short when he arrives in front of the doorway to the old used music room. He checks his wristwatch and see that it is 6:45 a.m. and thank goodness he is not late.

They were given an assignment of creating either an artwork or a piece of poem or short story to be submitted by the Monday and Osamu had asked Rintarou to accompany him, so they can work on it here—inside the old used music room. Aside from the fact that there’s a point Osamu wants to prove to himself; he clearly knew from the very beginning that Atsumu wouldn’t let them finish their work in peace. Instead, he’d drag both Osamu and Rintarou to execute the pranks he has in his mind.

He finds Rintarou sitting on the stool of the piano that is in the middle of the room, playing Orchestral Suite No. 3 D-Dur by Johann Bach. He wasn’t surprised to see Rintarou sitting on the stool. What surprises him is seeing Rintarou playing the piano. He never knew that Rintarou can play a musical instrument. He recognized the said piece because Rintarou mentioned it once when this piece was played on a nearby town which they’ve visited a few months ago. It was the first time he saw Rintarou in awe—eyes glistening with so much fondness; he wonders what memory is linked to this piece that makes it special to Rintarou.

He slowly approaches Rintarou—eyes never faltering to look away at Rintarou’s slender and thin fingers as it glides around the black and white keys of the piano. “Never knew ya could play.” Osamu mutters, voice sounds so soft he thought it would go unnoticed by Rintarou. Unfortunately, he’s proven false when Rintarou’s lips twitches upward forming a smug smirk. “Because you never bothered to ask.” He replied with a voice that is tinted with a playful tone to it, his fingers still pressing a sequence of black and white keys which produces a caliber degree of music that sounds thousand times heavenly now that Rintarou’s the one playing it.

“Why? Would ya even bother answering it even if I’d ask? Ye’r always so secretive.” Osamu asks him.

Rintarou glances upward to see Osamu’s gaze that has been fixated on him for a while now. He smiles at Osamu and replied, “If you’re the one asking, I don’t see any reason why I should not.”

Osamu’s eyes widen at Rintarou’s remark—totally not expecting such a reply from him.

“How long have you been playing?” Osamu asks instead, attempting to divert the topic into another direction. “All throughout my entire life. A few minutes before you came in.” the other boy replied. Confused by his remark, the other boy continued speaking. “Your question was too vague. It can be interpreted as when did I started playing the piano or how long have I been playing before you came in.”

Osamu keeps quiet and walks toward the windowsill and sit on it. Rintarou lets him be as he’s still not yet finished playing the piece—besides, Osamu brought him his bag of chuupets which he promised he would give to Rintarou once he arrives—nothing much for Rintarou to complain, is it there? Osamu finds a sense of comfort in the fact that he’s free to keep silent or throw out a snarky remark and Rintarou wouldn’t mind that much. Osamu closes his eyes and allows himself to indulge in the sweet and magical melody and imagines this to be a scene from a movie—the best part of a movie—completely forgetting what he swore to himself when he left the premises of his house.

His eyes jolt wide open when he remembers what the purpose of this meet up is in the first place. He messes his hair in frustration, already failing his supposed goal of totally suppressing his feelings for Rintarou. He catches the glance that was shoot by Rintarou and he’s hoping with all his might that the boy would think this is just him being frustrated about being unable to eat one of his favorite foods or him being frustrated simply because he have absolutely no idea on what to submit on Monday.

A sigh escapes his lips. “What are you going to submit on Monday, ‘Tarou?”

As he utters the nickname he has given to Rintarou, he sees again that swift movement Rintarou makes—one where he’d quickly look away to hide his face—and his play came to a halt. He impulsively stands up and turns his back on Osamu while ruffling his hair. Osamu can’t quite understand why he does that though. “Don’t mind me.” Rintarou shoots him a dirty glance as coughs as an attempt to stabilize his voice. “I don’t know. Should we just ditch it? That sounds something that you’d certainly do.” he replied to Osamu, oddly not looking at him.

Osamu throws him the bag of chuupets he owes Rintarou and thanks to Rintarou’s fast reflexes, he’s able catch it on time with his right hand. “Ya know Kita-san would hear about it from them— the teachers. The last thing I want is to face Kita-san’s wrath.”

“What would you submit then?” Rintarou asks Osamu, finally turning around and meeting his gaze.

In Osamu’s head, he knows he shouldn’t be doing this at all. That this is all just an exposure therapy for him to get over Rintarou. He knows this is both bad for both their friendship and the teamwork they’ve developed during their time at Inarizaki’s Volleyball club. But he as he looks at Rintarou, he cannot avoid the profound emotions he sees in his eyes that consist both yearning, longing, and hoping—ones in which Rintarou wishes Osamu would finally notice—that he’s trying to tell Osamu that it’s okay for him to dive deep down the cavern of his eyes—one in which would tell that Osamu that he have a chance, and he needs to take this chance; a now or never opportunity specially given to him and him only.

Osamu then thinks to himself at that moment. “To hell with rules and logic. I ain’t the smartest enough to think about that. I need and want to know what does that look means.”

Osamu casually walks over to Rintarou, not breaking the gaze they’ve been giving to each other. Although Rintarou is not playing the piano anymore, Osamu can faintly hear Minuet in G major playing in the background, as if they are both actors who’s filming for a frame of a classical romantic movie.

“If I write about and for ya, do ya mind?” Osamu finally replied to Rintarou’s question.

“Why? You don’t know much about me though, because you rarely ask me questions.”

“I want to know ya better. I want to understand what is that look ye’r always giving me.”

Finally seeming to be satisfied with Osamu’s response—as if what Rintarou’s trying to convey to Osamu finally reaches him—he crosses his arms over his chest, leans on the wooden body of the piano, and shoots his foxy grin at Osamu. “Ask your question again. This time, ask it properly.”

Osamu closes the gap between them and looks directly at Rintarou. “I want to write and submit a short story about and dedicated for ya. Be my muse, ‘Tarou?”

Rintarou gives him the same subtle smile that made Osamu fell for the younger male that midsummer day.

“Of course. I’d be delighted to read it.”

**Author's Note:**

> edit: i MIGHT change the tags bc there's some elements of the story that did not go well with the tags i've placed there. and i MIGHT add a chap 2, if 'tarou want to, that is. but anw, i'll leave this as it is for now and i'll fix this once i can. i've always see rin being simp for 'samu so i thought like "hey, what about osamu being simp for once? sbsisk"
> 
> i made a matching artwork for this piece which i've posted both on twitter (@avantaessi) and instagram (@avantaes)! if you'd like, you may check them out so you can grasp better osamu's view of rin.
> 
> thank you for reading!!


End file.
